Thursday, December 20, 2007

whatever i'm called

I've done nothing but cry and think and cry and think and live the last few days. I feel like there isn't enough room in the world for me to be able to be. Too many conflicting visions and realities, and I'm gone. My own presence invalidates me. Even I don't believe in me. I don't know why I feel I'm not allowed to exist, but it seems to prove true. I don't know if I can go a lifetime in two dimensions. And once again I am exhausted.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

JYou just remember that you have value. You do.

By existing you own the bit of space you take up... and nobody can lay claim to it. By just being here, you have a right. You are essentially valuable.

You are unique, and beautiful, and perfect. Getting back to your centre is key. What do you actually want? Listening to someone like Osho also helps. His audio dialogues have helped me immensely lately.

Also, realising that the lack of love that often comes from others is not from any lack in you, but mostly from their own self-involvement, fears, hang-ups.

I feel good today. Can you tell?

FIERI said...

I've never heard of Osho. I'll have to remind myself to look him up. I'm slightly swamped with work, school etc at the moment.

Thanks for all of that. It's nice to hear from other people what I take for granted in others. Everyone has an inherent value, but sometimes I forget I'm part of that Everybody.

I was also obviously pretty down and depressed when I jotted that bit there down. I'm learning to better manage this. Slowly. Heh.

I'm glad you're feeling well lately. Life's too short, you know?