Distractions

Work is weighing down on me. I'm doing well. My boss is good to me, and some of the people in the office are really glad to have me, one is really pushing that I get a raise. I am lucky to have this job. It's the best I have ever had, and yet I feel like I have to play these games to keep moving on, and all I really want to do is my job. I am a good worker. I want to just do that.

My boss is constantly trying to talk me into dating a man from upstairs. He's a nice enough guy, but I don't date and I certainly don't date now when I am trying to focus on finding my identity. I know I am not the typical twenty something, and I know people don't really understand me and why I do what I do. This really bogs down on me. I don't need to explain my choices to other people. I have reasons for why I choose to do what I do, but how can I reconcile this with a work atmosphere, and all of these roles that I am supposed to wear to go along with it?

I want to be able to be me. I don't want to have to fend off romantic advances and set ups at work. I don't want things to be expected of me because of the way I look and act, and I don't want to have to pretend I am something I am not.

I just want to be. I want to be left to be.

I am embarking on something important. I refuse to get caught up in things.

A restatement of purpose is in order, and a reorganizing of the WHY- so that I may be confident in my commitments to myself.

WHY

1. I will never be a realized human being while I am in dissonance with the reality i live.
2. I will never be happy if I am not a realized human being.
3. I am strong and I am smart and I have goals to accomplish- this is most important to me- not other people's perceptions.



I need to refocus on what my perspective is, not other's. I am tired. I am going to close my eyes for a few minutes and refocus. God can I get cluttered if I don't maintain purpose constantly.